I didn't ask to be the sexiest man ever of Flametown...

Captain Caveman · 2143


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Offline Captain Caveman

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...and I resent being placed on a pedestal and worshipped by women across the board (s)...

I am but a humble and introspective forum Adonis who moistens the e-panties of our resident females by merely whispering truths in their textual ears.

I blame Flea for perpetuating my grande lore to a new crop of cumin snorting Bernie Sanders wanking granny panties wearing cyber thrush hags.  >:(
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #1 on: April 15, 2019, 12:09:22 AM
If you look like a young Nicolas Cage, you're an ugly fuck. Huge fucking ears and nose. Goofy as all hell.

Yes! That! Huge long ears and a massive snozzer.

...and I sprinkle the dried and desiccated remains of my blockheaded latina victims on nacho platters for extra flavour.

Very hideous inside and out. Would not recommend. 1/10. Will not return. The welcome mat smelled like fish factory.
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #2 on: April 15, 2019, 12:26:36 AM
What victims do you claim?  The ones that have met you?

Those with temporary amnesia bouts where it suits them and massive middle aged arses which lean left...
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #3 on: April 15, 2019, 12:34:37 AM
No, you don't get it... I'm no good for you.

It's not you, it's me.

Freud
- hums Twilight Zone theme...
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #4 on: April 15, 2019, 12:40:43 AM
Freud
- Licks eyebrows and dances to Cotton Eye Joe...
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #5 on: April 15, 2019, 11:09:46 AM
It's a curse...
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Reply #6 on: April 15, 2019, 04:08:43 PM
the OP is a faggot!!

Did your backpack tell you that, Jocks Folder? 
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #7 on: April 17, 2019, 09:54:14 AM
Had you asked, do you believe the answer would've been "Okay, sure"?

 :biggrin:

Nice snipe...

+1
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #8 on: April 17, 2019, 01:16:01 PM
That sig tho. Really ?

Oh shit... there it is again!

It seems to be following every single one of my posts...  :biggrin:
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #9 on: April 17, 2019, 02:22:19 PM
I have sigs turned off

And for good reason.


So what are we talking about here?

Looney latina logic...

If you tease them with a chop, apparently it's self ownage...
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Reply #10 on: April 17, 2019, 02:38:26 PM
I love when Latina and black women go absolutely bananas. The lose of self control can be so sexually stimulating.

Is it just me or do any other men get turned on as their woman is trying to stab them with a steak knife?

I had this gf years ago...didn't know more than 10 words of English and fiery-jealous as fuck...

One night she came around where I was staying and accused me of all sorts of untoward things, so I told her to leave...which just pissed her off even more and she tried slapping me repeatedly..

...so I gave her the option.. the door or the window...her eyes went huge...she went dead still...and we both burst out laughing.

We were a dozen or so floors up over an ocean ledge...

...things were sweet after that.  :borat:
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Reply #11 on: April 17, 2019, 02:41:52 PM
Looney Latina logic lol. That’s a first

 :biglaugha:
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Reply #12 on: April 17, 2019, 03:08:58 PM
Ok I had to stop reading there.....

Why? Black chicks can be good nasty in the fart sack...  :borat:
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Reply #13 on: April 17, 2019, 03:24:40 PM
I would imagine a person more sexually drawn to cattle would.

...though, in a scents, he is a herder of cats...

(But IT'S NOT HIM!!! OK?@!???...)  :biglaugha:
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Reply #14 on: April 18, 2019, 07:28:19 AM
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Reply #15 on: April 18, 2019, 07:37:49 AM
In real life people are usually perturbed because I make them feel stupid, not because I lose my temper.  I used to when I was younger.  No one really seems worth it anymore.

I just remembered the last time I got pissed off at a guy I was dating. He actually pissed me the fuck off. He kept texting and texting and texting, late into the night.  My kids were teens at the time and it was a weekend and I didn't want to turn my phone off. He kept texting fucking with me.

Finally, my kids were home.  I told him to stop bugging me or I'd drive to his house in SF and fuck him up.  lololol

So, I turned off my phone and promptly fall asleep.   The fool stayed up all night ranting, then he became cajoling telling me he wanted me to please come over, yada, yada, yada...

I see these dozen or so texts he had sent me the next morning after I turned my phone back on.  I literally laughed my ass off, tears running down my face.  I was sleeping while this fool was begging to see me.

What a trip!   I've never seen him again. He still sends me messages here and there.  I ignore him.  This was over 5 years ago.  Men can be strange the minute you kick them to the curb.

I was seeing this bird a long time ago and she was a little too much into me...like my shadow, always around, always needy...

So I decided that when I moved to the other side of the city I wouldn't give her my address right away.

A day later she was at my new doorstep raging at me. When I asked how she knew where I was and that it would have taken a tactical grid investigation of hundreds of streets, she admitted that she had been driving for over six hours....creeping and peering out.

She tried the woe is me angle. I told her to piss off. That was it...

Chicks are nuts...

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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #16 on: April 19, 2019, 04:14:54 AM
I didn't ask to be the sexiest man ever of Flametown...

Aaaaand, you're not, so win/win.

Dude, you're a dude?  :popcorn:
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #17 on: April 19, 2019, 05:36:05 PM
Fucking powered nose motherfuckers...
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #18 on: April 20, 2019, 01:58:41 PM
Yeah I hear he has a shiny chrome dome...

Only when I shave and buff it...

I never much cared for haircuts and decided to do them myself a decade ago.

..and the girlies love a full head of hair guy who cuts it all off because he can...
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Reply #19 on: April 20, 2019, 02:04:54 PM


Girls that love ese’s Like em too

What can I say... I'm just loco when I look in the mirror and see new growth... I'm like " dooooodamage!!!! Chingaso and fuckin hair shit!!"... I throw down with my hair follicles. Carnal!
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