Author Topic: Five Things About You (which others would consider embarrassing)...  (Read 2146 times)

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Offline Captain Caveman

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The title says it all.... name five true things about yourself or your views, and let the shit fly at you for it...

(If you're a true flamer or troll, you won't have a problem doing this, and won't make up faux lists which people can quite clearly see through immediately)...

So:

1. I do all the cooking in my house because my girl could burn boiled water, but she's still pretty ace at baked goods (which oddly... I intensely dislike), so it's a stalemate...

2. I stopped buying long underwear a couple years ago and went with cotton/elasticine women's leggings because they were 1/4 the price and warmer/better fitting underneath modern slim legged work trousers...

3. I don't consider myself American anymore... I have a very ancient concept of what it means to be American, and as such, I'd like to go to Mars or just board a space ship with perpetual motion and live out my remaining days getting as far the fuck away from most of you as humanly possible... even if it means I die before you stupid motherfuckers do...

4. I think Flea is hot as fuck... despite only seeing her face and top half before... I also think that Dove isn't something you'd kick out of your bed for eating crumblies, despite the fact that she's white chick old... (don't get me wrong here... white chicks age fast.... latinas age slow, THEN super fast.... so they're probably going to even out in another 4-6 years)... both grandmas... both finally sterile... that's hot! No entanglements!...

5. Whenever I see 3x licence plates in a row while driving home with the number 13, I find the nearest lottery agent, stop, and buy a ticket...
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Offline Lemon

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The title says it all.... name five true things about yourself or your views, and let the shit fly at you for it...

(If you're a true flamer or troll, you won't have a problem doing this, and won't make up faux lists which people can quite clearly see through immediately)...

So:

1. I do all the cooking in my house because my girl could burn boiled water, but she's still pretty ace at baked goods (which oddly... I intensely dislike), so it's a stalemate...

2. I stopped buying long underwear a couple years ago and went with cotton/elasticine women's leggings because they were 1/4 the price and warmer/better fitting underneath modern slim legged work trousers...

3. I don't consider myself American anymore... I have a very ancient concept of what it means to be American, and as such, I'd like to go to Mars or just board a space ship with perpetual motion and live out my remaining days getting as far the fuck away from most of you as humanly possible... even if it means I die before you stupid motherfuckers do...

4. I think Flea is hot as fuck... despite only seeing her face and top half before... I also think that Dove isn't something you'd kick out of your bed for eating crumblies, despite the fact that she's white chick old... (don't get me wrong here... white chicks age fast.... latinas age slow, THEN super fast.... so they're probably going to even out in another 4-6 years)... both grandmas... both finally sterile... that's hot! No entanglements!...

5. Whenever I see 3x licence plates in a row while driving home with the number 13, I find the nearest lottery agent, stop, and buy a ticket...

Wait..... Dove is a grandma?  I know Flea is.
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Wait..... Dove is a grandma?  I know Flea is.

Grandma aged...
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Dovey

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.....I'm not a grandma.
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Dovey

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  1. I have PTSD which causes me to sometimes act out very irrationally if I'm having a panick attack that lasts several days. So I've left grocery carts full of food at check outs to bolt, left restaurants before food came(paid anyway) and have thrown up in many public toilets everytime I go out dancing. I work with it, though.

 2. I'm obsessively clean about my vagina because I deep paranoia about UTIs. I even take supplements specifically for this. I'm fussy about soap and I will not even touch it until I've washed my hands.

 3. I guess I fart in my sleep. And enjoy it.

 4. I'm 38 years old and i still chew straws and pencils.

 5. I can make every bone in my body pop at will.  Though sometimes my knees and hips do it involuntarily if I move around suddenly.  It's pretty embarrassing if I'm trying to slip outta something unnoticed lol.

 There ya go.
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Offline Lemon

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Offline Captain Caveman

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How old are you?

Too young for you...
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Offline Lemon

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Too young for you...

I don’t want you.
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Offline Captain Caveman

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I don’t want you.

I don't want to fuck rocks or quicksand, so I don't want to fuck you either....
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Offline Lemon

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I don't want to fuck rocks or quicksand, so I don't want to fuck you either....

That makes sense.   :crampe:
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Dovey

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Re: Five Things About You (which others would consider embarrassing)...
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2019, 06:19:06 PM »

2. I stopped buying long underwear a couple years ago and went with cotton/elasticine women's leggings because they were 1/4 the price and warmer/better fitting underneath modern slim legged work trousers...


 Yeeeeaaahhhhh.....pics or it didnt happen!!
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The Queen Bee

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Re: Five Things About You (which others would consider embarrassing)...
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2019, 06:36:42 PM »
Why is it embarrassing to think we’re hot ? Most people do


Except Bonesaw.
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The Queen Bee

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Re: Five Things About You (which others would consider embarrassing)...
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2019, 06:45:16 PM »
1. I think one of my boobs might be slightly bigger than the other

2. I used to fantasize about Freud and Evil Blood doing really bad things to me

3. The only way I’ll eat top ramen is if it’s a prison type spread with pickles, eggs and tapatio

4. I love going to 7-11 for a bag Doritos and filling it with nacho cheese and jalapeños

5. I don’t believe having sex with another girl is cheating.
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Dovey

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Re: Five Things About You (which others would consider embarrassing)...
« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2019, 07:06:55 PM »
1. I think one of my boobs might be slightly bigger than the other

2. I used to fantasize about Freud and Evil Blood doing really bad things to me

3. The only way I’ll eat top ramen is if it’s a prison type spread with pickles, eggs and tapatio

4. I love going to 7-11 for a bag Doritos and filling it with nacho cheese and jalapeños

5. I don’t believe having sex with another girl is cheating.

 Omg I totally learned how to do a prison cook up with ramen while in the mission  :biglaugha:

 I kinda got the lopsided boob thing going on, too. I call them "Hefty" and "Wimpy"  :biglaugha:
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Re: Five Things About You (which others would consider embarrassing)...
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2019, 07:09:19 PM »
Yeeeeaaahhhhh.....pics or it didnt happen!!



Eat a dick, bitch...  :biggrin:

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Offline Lemon

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Re: Five Things About You (which others would consider embarrassing)...
« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2019, 07:11:13 PM »
1. I think one of my boobs might be slightly bigger than the other

2. I used to fantasize about Freud and Evil Blood doing really bad things to me

3. The only way I’ll eat top ramen is if it’s a prison type spread with pickles, eggs and tapatio

4. I love going to 7-11 for a bag Doritos and filling it with nacho cheese and jalapeños

5. I don’t believe having sex with another girl is cheating.

Nothing shocking except #5.  Why is it not cheating? 
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Dovey

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Re: Five Things About You (which others would consider embarrassing)...
« Reply #16 on: July 08, 2019, 07:11:23 PM »


Eat a dick, bitch...  :biggrin:

 Yeeeessssss  :crampe:

 I fucking love you, bitch  :biggrin:
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Offline Lemon

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Re: Five Things About You (which others would consider embarrassing)...
« Reply #17 on: July 08, 2019, 07:12:25 PM »


Eat a dick, bitch...  :biggrin:

Did we have to see your toes?!   >:(
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Offline Lemon

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Re: Five Things About You (which others would consider embarrassing)...
« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2019, 07:15:05 PM »
If I was in prison, I would definitely eat the ramen and probably, eventually, turn to another woman for comfort....

But it would still be cheating on my menz.   :biggrin:
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Dovey

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Re: Five Things About You (which others would consider embarrassing)...
« Reply #19 on: July 08, 2019, 07:15:12 PM »
Did we have to see your toes?!   >:(

 I already know what color I'm gonna paint them when I get over there and crash on his couch.

  :happy117:
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