dating dovey, now split, stripper pole whiplash
nintendo switch out of pawn, photo of cash
starting another thread just so you all knows
it's going to be about my stupid Ed Hardey clothes
new podcast, going to talk about me
oops I posted my own PI, please delete that Flea
Am I coming off as massively insecure?
no way, even my socks are haute couture
I'm a really fake ass rich guy
balls made of Tiffany glass guy
Just cant stop talking about me guy
Stand on my head to pee guy
Chest always puffed out guy
I'm that bad type
make your pussy sad type
rent a girlfriend for the night type
will hype my small dick type
duh.........
scratch that, not enough for what I need, sorry Billie Eilish let's move to some Hamilton riffs instead
Am i an attention whore, do my podcast bore?
Can't be since they are all about me
my vernacular is spectacular, my dick large
posts like a depth charge blowing up the forum with my astute decorum
BOOM!
Photo of a wad of cash!
that sure made a splash like a fecal dump pushed out my rump
Reading my threads is like waking up in bed
next to a prostitute who is dead
But all the girls still love me! (yeahhhhhhhhhhh)
So I got to holler , i am a pee wee scholar,
with every post and boast I just roast myself
you don't even need to flame me!
Check this out, i just ate the ass of my real sex doll
that is not all, my dick is too small for sex and my mouth tastes like latex
With every word i sound lamer
that Dovey drama was like Kramer vs Kramer (1979 movie reference)
I'm a gimp with a ball gag, Johnny storm called me a fag
got a pair of Ed Hardey Jeans in my shopping bag
Only 40 something but my mustache looks older
balls are really small like it suddenly became colder
Every boast, every new thread i start
makes as much noise as a mouse's fart
Let me start again, i'm at a disadvantage
i just can't manage not having my name brandished
when everyone is not talking about me, I feel famished
the plan is to spark into a flame
pretend I am having sex with real dames
but dam, it's getting dark, so instead I fap
announce I'm cumming and squint like a jap
I am K-I-N-G M-A-R-T-N-I with my hand on my weenie, like it's meant to be
Going all gangster on my walls with a jism spraying spree
Thrusting a finger in my ass, endlessly
Essentially masturbating, relentlessly
Then reality sets in as drool slides down my chin,
tissues for the win, clean my room, throw evidence in trash bin
Like Abraham Lincoln I set my bound sperm free
I just liquidated all my seminal inventory
This will go down as the greatest wank fest of the century
Don't be shocked when your hist'ry book mentions me
I will take more strange angle selfies than Flea
Eventually, you'll see my ascendancy
And I am not throwing shade
You have all been played
I'm just a big chump
I'm telling more lies than Donald trump
I'm young, scrappy and so hungry
thrusting my pelvis skyward, never taking a knee
I dream of everyone worshipping me
I'm a fuckhead's apprentice
So every time i post it's momentous
And I got y'all knuckleheads in loco parentis
lose my Nintendo Switch and I become panicky
throw the BG into total anarchy
Super Mario aint into extortion
Dovey just STFU about abortion
I want that tracking number, this is your only chance
Put my mind at ease before I shit my pants
But will I ever be truly free
All of you are totally dependent on me
Until you can be as cool as I [Big Grin]
You and I. Do or die. Wait till I sally in
On a stallion, I'm just like a little waddling Italian
waving my hands in the air, because i care
and to be fair, you all don't have a prayer without me, so rejoice
You all love the sound of my voice
I'm with you, but the situation is fraught
Please take a seat, your about to be taught
Take off your pants, then squat
Now drop a post [KERPLOP]
got to be carefully taught
Don't want to waste your shot
Now look down and check what we got
Brown, stinky and hard as a rock
I like it a lot!
Let's all hatch a plot to always shit in the same spot
Remember, my posts do not smell, like it or not
I'm Poppin' a squat on your face, aint that hot
So if you see me sucking, don't run, just let it be
Like a song with no beat or melody
my flames are worse than my tattoo, I agree
butt this is not a moment, it's the movement
a place where even a fake nazi can yell and vent
even if his opinions are not worth a dam cent
I know you all find me excitin'
Even if I never learned readin' n writin'
I'm laughin' in the face of my mediocrity and self glorification
while passionately smashing every expectation
of ever producing an original creation
fuck aspiration, i embrace pelvic gyration and burping carbonation
so let's begin the celebration, I just started over nine thousand threads
and for that I deserve a commendation
Lana del Rey, you looking good today, so let's sing about the one with the tiny weenie, King Martini
Wish I may, wish I might
That Poofer stop talking about me tonight
Do you really think he could do that
If I pray really tight
Getting into a forum fight
putting a Nintendo Switch in the mail
a total relationship fail
I know this drama is not right
But talking is what poofer loves to do
Doesn't he know the relationship is through
smelling naked sheets through the night
watching post count rise with the spite
Do you think anything he says is true
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Baby, He's a lousy post filler
Sweet serial thread killer
On the warpath
'Cause he loves himself just a little too much
he loves drama a little too much, much, much
(what a douche, douche, douche)
I can see you writing about me
Sweet serial thread killer
He left a note
Said Dovey, you make me wary
but if you try to delete this thread
I will bury it in the pet cemetery
where it will rise again
(rise rise rise)
now isn't that scary?
I'm a sweet serial thread killer
(I guess you will never get rid of me)
Just be quite and hush, hush, hush
I post purely for the thrill of the rush, rush, rush
Love my shit too much to ever flush
(My posts are like pure heaven)
I am your sweet serial thread killer, Kevin
I love all the forum drama a little too much
My scented candle is burning bright
So I'll pretend to have sex tonight
Or maybe just paint the BG blue
because I don't have a fucking clue
I'm so sexy, I ignite
reading my own posts is such a delight
Dancing naked, my balls shine
Soon every women in this forum will be mine
Like a light I'm luring you
Ooh, ooh, ooh
I could be your ingenue
Baby, let the histrionics unwind
We can put all the mods in a bind
I'm giving flea a headache, she needs a painkiller
I'm BG's Sweet serial thread killer
Do it for the thrill of the rush
we all love drama just a little too much, much
Dovey, did you get any joy
by telling the forum i used to be an altar boy
Let the drama go down, down, down
Don't make me look like a clown, clown, clown
Uh
Time to post another podcast
everyone is talking about me, it's a blast
Love this drama just a little too much, much
Keep safe, and inspired
Drama equals post count, it's required
Real sex doll looking hot, I'm going to drill her
Yours truly, the sweet serial thread killer
