I am so deeply triggereded.

[cookie monster]

And yet so much of this is true.

I has a secondry illness, a sin of from PTSD called Hypervigilance and this will be my diary as i attend meetings with the Nut mechanic.

hypervigillance is the semi-permanent state of fight or flight, the sense of danger. Its not paranoia, I do not belleive someone or thing is after me. I am permanently jacked up and will have to start calming techniques soon as well as Cognitive Behavoural therapy.

I have my own work arounds to calm down, alcohol and cannabis help and I prefer the company of women as it equals less danger and less threat alerts.
Now heres the kicker...

None of you are a threat or danger! Not even if HC trouble finds out what I have been saying about his wifes eating habits in the other thread and busts a burrito shaped vien in his forehead. Its like your all rats in a mini maze and I hold a cattle prod.

And then there is Benzo..

Cookie: Benzover you are the big gay!

Benzo: You are not gay if you say "No Homo"

Cookie: How can you say no homo if you have a cock in your mouth?

Benzo: stop trying to fool me with the clever talk! The cock wont go all the way through as its blocked at the other end by Phrostbytes dick! And he will say "No Homo" for me! Ahahahahahaha you dint think of that did you? Gotcha!!!

Cookie: Maybe, but the rainbow cape and the tub of vaseline in your hand does look incriminating.

You see? Nothing to fear, this is all funny. So let us prey for Peaches soul, as his Rsoul must be ripped rotten having to hang on this board with the rest of you cum chuffers.

The end, and the beginning.

[Rancidmilko]

The image of that bunny with a pancake on its head comes to mind

[theJIZZ]

hypervigillance

I still have a bit of that too, but not at your level.  My paranoia ended over 35 years ago when I stopped using alcohol and cannabis, and benzodizepines.  Took a year or two of five to seven twelve-step meetings every week, and some days I felt like a do-it-yourself brain surgeon, but it was the best choice I could have made.

EDIT to add: 
I would not have lasted three days on troll forums, not even the old Yahoos, had I not adopted the motto:

Never ascribe to malice any behavior that can be explained by stupidity.

[Dovey]

And yet so much of this is true.

I has a secondry illness, a sin of from PTSD called Hypervigilance and this will be my diary as i attend meetings with the Nut mechanic.

hypervigillance is the semi-permanent state of fight or flight, the sense of danger. Its not paranoia, I do not belleive someone or thing is after me. I am permanently jacked up and will have to start calming techniques soon as well as Cognitive Behavoural therapy.

I have my own work arounds to calm down, alcohol and cannabis help and I prefer the company of women as it equals less danger and less threat alerts.
Now heres the kicker...

None of you are a threat or danger! Not even if HC trouble finds out what I have been saying about his wifes eating habits in the other thread and busts a burrito shaped vien in his forehead. Its like your all rats in a mini maze and I hold a cattle prod.

And then there is Benzo..

Cookie: Benzover you are the big gay!

Benzo: You are not gay if you say "No Homo"

Cookie: How can you say no homo if you have a cock in your mouth?

Benzo: stop trying to fool me with the clever talk! The cock wont go all the way through as its blocked at the other end by Phrostbytes dick! And he will say "No Homo" for me! Ahahahahahaha you dint think of that did you? Gotcha!!!

Cookie: Maybe, but the rainbow cape and the tub of vaseline in your hand does look incriminating.

You see? Nothing to fear, this is all funny. So let us prey for Peaches soul, as his Rsoul must be ripped rotten having to hang on this board with the rest of you cum chuffers.

The end, and the beginning.

 I have PTSD.

 The hypervilligance pretty much ruined my life for a while, but it's not so much a problem anymore unless I get triggered. I'm pretty good at dealing with triggers. I had 5 years of CBT after that heroin/opiate addiction.

 I'll still dissociate though, and mostly at the worst possible times, like mid conversation.

 Lots of fun. 

[LotusBud]

I still have a bit of that too, but not at your level.  My paranoia ended over 35 years ago when I stopped using alcohol and cannabis, and benzodizepines.  Took a year or two of five to seven twelve-step meetings every week, and some days I felt like a do-it-yourself brain surgeon, but it was the best choice I could have made.

EDIT to add: 
I would not have lasted three days on troll forums, not even the old Yahoos, had I not adopted the motto:

Never ascribe to malice any behavior that can be explained by stupidity.

I dunno.  People can be stupid AND nasty.  There are clearly a few of them here.

[Dovey]

I still have a bit of that too, but not at your level.  My paranoia ended over 35 years ago when I stopped using alcohol and cannabis, and benzodizepines.  Took a year or two of five to seven twelve-step meetings every week, and some days I felt like a do-it-yourself brain surgeon, but it was the best choice I could have made.

EDIT to add: 
I would not have lasted three days on troll forums, not even the old Yahoos, had I not adopted the motto:

Never ascribe to malice any behavior that can be explained by stupidity.

 Remember when I went into a PTSD/Opiate fueled paranoid delusion that  Duchess was in my pharmaceutical records, right on TV in front of everyone?

 That was bad. 

 It made Murd cry, I really had to step back. Until drugs were involved, nothing on the internet ever bothered me. Not like that, at least. 

[Rennel_Feldswipe]

I take Ashwaghanda sometimes, but I ain't mental like you motherfuckers.

[BEnzo]

And yet so much of this is true.

I has a secondry illness, a sin of from PTSD called Hypervigilance and this will be my diary as i attend meetings with the Nut mechanic.

hypervigillance is the semi-permanent state of fight or flight, the sense of danger. Its not paranoia, I do not belleive someone or thing is after me. I am permanently jacked up and will have to start calming techniques soon as well as Cognitive Behavoural therapy.

I have my own work arounds to calm down, alcohol and cannabis help and I prefer the company of women as it equals less danger and less threat alerts.
Now heres the kicker...

None of you are a threat or danger! Not even if HC trouble finds out what I have been saying about his wifes eating habits in the other thread and busts a burrito shaped vien in his forehead. Its like your all rats in a mini maze and I hold a cattle prod.

And then there is Benzo..

Cookie: Benzover you are the big gay!

Benzo: You are not gay if you say "No Homo"

Cookie: How can you say no homo if you have a cock in your mouth?

Benzo: stop trying to fool me with the clever talk! The cock wont go all the way through as its blocked at the other end by Phrostbytes dick! And he will say "No Homo" for me! Ahahahahahaha you dint think of that did you? Gotcha!!!

Cookie: Maybe, but the rainbow cape and the tub of vaseline in your hand does look incriminating.

You see? Nothing to fear, this is all funny. So let us prey for Peaches soul, as his Rsoul must be ripped rotten having to hang on this board with the rest of you cum chuffers.

The end, and the beginning.

You bunch of faggots-
This goes for all of you.

I got blown up!

That was the THIRD time!!

Get over it.

Peace-

[Dovey]

I take Ashwaghanda sometimes, but I ain't mental like you motherfuckers.

 You like to watch, though 

[lokmar]

I dunno.  People can be stupid AND nasty.  There are clearly a few of them here.

I do my best.....

Bitch.

[BroadcastHoney]

None of you are a threat or danger! Not even if HC trouble finds out what I have been saying about his wifes eating habits in the other thread and busts a burrito shaped vien in his forehead. Its like your all rats in a mini maze and I hold a cattle prod.

No one's eating habits are any of your business. They never were.

I'm glad you have PTSD,... fuck you.

haha.

Everyone knows you think your minor digit is a cattle prod. Keep your minor digit away from the cattle or no one will ever eat steak or drink milk, again.

[Captain Caveman]

The Gobbledok has spoken from her potato planet Dok...

[cookie monster]

Interesting replies. Its not the same as paranoia, thats a type of insanity, I am not insane.

Conversly, drink and cannabis calm me down, as does the company of women rather than men(Less of a threat). Most of the causes involve hardcore violence(Military etc) not drug abuse.

Youve let the caskerpig in here? Poor quality control.

One of the side effects is fatigue and exaustion, thats prevelent on Flame forums if not stoned, pissed etc, or having protacted arguments with arseholes. Also why I tend to post less and have limited time for morons.

[cookie monster]

Btw

I posted this in battlegrounds because this my demon ive finally identified, that fuckers going down!

[Dovey]

Interesting replies. Its not the same as paranoia, thats a type of insanity, I am not insane.

Conversly, drink and cannabis calm me down, as does the company of women rather than men(Less of a threat). Most of the causes involve hardcore violence(Military etc) not drug abuse.

Youve let the caskerpig in here? Poor quality control.

One of the side effects is fatigue and exaustion, thats prevelent on Flame forums if not stoned, pissed etc, or having protacted arguments with arseholes. Also why I tend to post less and have limited time for morons.

 I know hypervilligance isnt the same as paranoia.

 It's just living with a very easily roused fight/flight response.

 Paranoia is a borderline delusional problem where people think others are out to get them in some way.

 Hypervilligance is being trapped in a never ending panick because as I put it....your gears get stuck in "oh fuck" mode. You know mentally that you are safe, but your fight/flight is kicking anyway.

 I know exactly what you mean and I'm truly sorry you go through. I have too, I wouldnt wish this on anyone.

 Do what you need to do until you can get into some CBT. CBT was a miracle for me.

 I used to get ativan for my PTSD, I was on Paxil too. I went off the Paxil and doctors dont feel comfortable giving me narcotics on a daily basis so the most ativan I get now is 5 at a time.....I typically dont even use all 5 in one month.

 Weed just gave me worse anxiety 

[cookie monster]

I know hypervilligance isnt the same as paranoia.

 It's just living with a very easily roused fight/flight response.

 Paranoia is a borderline delusional problem where people think others are out to get them in some way.

 Hypervilligance is being trapped in a never ending panick because as I put it....your gears get stuck in "oh fuck" mode. You know mentally that you are safe, but your fight/flight is kicking anyway.

 I know exactly what you mean and I'm truly sorry you go through. I have too, I wouldnt wish this on anyone.

 Do what you need to do until you can get into some CBT. CBT was a miracle for me.

 I used to get ativan for my PTSD, I was on Paxil too. I went off the Paxil and doctors dont feel comfortable giving me narcotics on a daily basis so the most ativan I get now is 5 at a time.....I typically dont even use all 5 in one month.

 Weed just gave me worse anxiety 

Symptoms vary from person to person, fear of abandonment is a major one but only had that for a brief time, when the girlfriend and I broke up I suffered a major anxiety attack. Haven't had one before or since. I don want meds, I'd rather od the running for exercise and endorphins. They suggested beta blockers but I'm Alpha lol

[Seamajor]

Symptoms vary from person to person, fear of abandonment is a major one but only had that for a brief time, when the girlfriend and I broke up I suffered a major anxiety attack. Haven't had one before or since. I don want meds, I'd rather od the running for exercise and endorphins. They suggested beta blockers but I'm Alpha lol

Endorphins... Better than smack, and good for ya.

[BroadcastHoney]

 

Look at the druggies bonding...

how cute.

[Dovey]

Endorphins... Better than smack, and good for ya.

 That first year of opiate addiction recovery had a lot to do with stimulating endorphin production.

 Your brain wont produce any of it own dopamine/endorphins if you have been artificially flooding it with narcs.

 So the first year mark is really really hard for people. That slump and depression seems endless, so I noticed a lot of people seemed to relapse around that point.

 I wasnt gonna be one of them, so I got real acquainted with the science, so I understood where the urge to use was coming from. I started working out a lot, I got raw dark chocolate, (I still throw cacao nibs and powder in smoothies) and pretty much used every natural method of boosting endorphins.

 I still hold that I had a much easier first 2 years than most of my peers in rehab. Too many people dont make it over that year hump without at least one relapse. I'm on 7 years now without even a desire to go back into that mess.

 People really underestimate the importance of endorphins until you spend a good chunk of time without any. Its horrific.

[Dovey]

Look at the druggies bonding...

how cute.

 Everytime you insult me, I want you to know....

 I've been called worse, by better people