I am so excited to be your nominee for Governor of Idaho

[Joe Biden]

I would like to thank you all on this Super Saturday for supporting this 2014 race for the Wisconsin senate seat. Bernie Manalow has been a tough challenger but together we can make Vermont great again!

As your newly elected mayor of Nashville I will work with Indonesia on a jobs plan and put robust programs in place to boost our economy through offshore drilling along our western coastline and put an end to Alien mining for the Romulan Empire. I will fight for quality hair products and sleeveless business attire for all of our working woman. Especially those in my cabinet.

Let's make this an awesome 2 years!

Yours truly, Joe Jackson

[Captain Caveman]

Welcome to Chinatown, your asparagus excellency...

[Dovey]

 

[Biggie Smiles]

Welcome Joe Biden

We here as emissaries to the Klingon Empire welcome you

What do you plan to do about Corona Virus good sir?

[Joe Biden]

Welcome Joe Biden

We here as emissaries to the Klingon Empire welcome you

What do you plan to do about Corona Virus good sir?

That's a good question young man. Thank you for asking. As soon as I am exonerated into the Nevada state legislator my first act as county clerk will be to put an end to all fast food consumption inside the courtroom.

No jurors should have to be distracted by the smell of those bacon cheese fries they serve at Trader Joes while they are busy authoring Federal laws.

Then I will put into effect a wing tax on all flying cars and outlaw high heels.

Joe Johnson  - it's time we made a difference

[Biggie Smiles]

That's a good question young man. Thank you for asking. As soon as I am exonerated into the Nevada state legislator my first act as county clerk will be to put an end to all fast food consumption inside the courtroom.

No jurors should have to be distracted by the smell of those bacon cheese fries they serve at Trader Joes while they are busy authoring Federal laws.

Then I will put into effect a wing tax on all flying cars and outlaw high heels.

Joe Johnson  - it's time we made a difference

Um Sir? What about Corona? The growing pandemic?

[LotusBud]

That's a good question young man. Thank you for asking. As soon as I am exonerated into the Nevada state legislator my first act as county clerk will be to put an end to all fast food consumption inside the courtroom.

No jurors should have to be distracted by the smell of those bacon cheese fries they serve at Trader Joes while they are busy authoring Federal laws.

Then I will put into effect a wing tax on all flying cars and outlaw high heels.

Joe Johnson  - it's time we made a difference

I'm glad you came to your senses and retired to the Nevada state legislative city council of Gary, Indiana, paving the way for Bernie to take his rightful place as Democratic nominee, and president-elect.  You're a real peach, Sloppy Joe.

[Joe Biden]

I'm glad you came to your senses and retired to the Nevada state legislative city council of Gary, Indiana, paving the way for Bernie to take his rightful place as Democratic nominee, and president-elect.  You're a real peach, Sloppy Joe.

This reminds me of that Flinstones episode. Do you remember the one? Where he was being chased by the Dinosaur?

God I used to love watching Sci-Fi shows

[Joe Biden]

Um Sir? What about Corona? The growing pandemic?

Oh, right right. Corona.

Quality beer. A little on the harder side and I'm more of a Miller man myself but you know if you mix it with some Quaker oatmeal and add a little nutmeg you can turn out one hell of an Apple Pie.

Joe Pesci -- Funny? How am I funny?

[Biggie Smiles]

This fucking guy 

[Dovey]

 I bet it was the "thrill up the leg" talk that brought him here

[Biggie Smiles]

I bet it was the "thrill up the leg" talk that brought him here

[lokmar]

 

HOOLEE CHIT!!! EPIC!!! STICKIE!!!!

[Biggie Smiles]

HOOLEE CHIT!!! EPIC!!! STICKIE!!!!

Shit is nuts

Should I sticky it?

[lokmar]

Shit is nuts

Should I sticky it?

Motherfukin RIGHT! Fuck, you should start a go fund me page so we can pay this asshole for the fukin LOLZ!!! I was literally CRYING while I read this shit to my wife!!!

[Biggie Smiles]

Mr Biden sir.

Will Pocahontas or any of your other rivals be joining us?

[Joe Biden]

Mr Biden sir.

Will Pocahontas or any of your other rivals be joining us?

You're damn right Pocahontas should be allowed to carry a rifle and join us. Especially where she grew up. Party favors save lives.

This reminds me of the time I was teaching sign language to blind kids down at the Helen Keller institute for chronic leprosy and we were invaded by a colony of red ants. Boy did T-bone have a tough time making it to the bathroom on time that day. Let me tell you. And if it wasn't for the fact that there was this 30ft yacht right in the middle of that football stadium I don't think he would have made it.

Joe Bannano - John Gotti is a rat.

[Captain Caveman]

Mr. Biden...

How will you deal with the communist freeloaders in your moderate freeloading democratic party? And how many lunar Starbucks vouchers will I get if I vote for Old Navy trousers?

[Joe Biden]

Mr. Biden...

How will you deal with the communist freeloaders in your moderate freeloading democratic party? And how many lunar Starbucks vouchers will I get if I vote for Old Navy trousers?

Very fine questions young man. Very fine.

Don't you think these questions would be better asked of a Presidential candidate? Well let me tell you what I would do if I were running for president.

Pepper spray? Out. Hair sniffing? Mandatory on the first and forth Tuesday of every month. Vouchers for all hair care products for any women under the age of 17 and I would leave Lunar starwars in the capable hands of qualified people such as Luke Sky-walker and that furry guy? What's his name again? Rosie Odonnell?

And more importantly, Me and Joseph Stalin were very close friends back in the flight academy but how many nuclear subs do you think he can afford?

Joe Namath - My football career ain't over just yet

[Captain Caveman]

Sorry, Mr Biden... one more question for now...

If you're elected governor of Potato, how will you combat the unholy invasion of the dreaded Pineapple Hobo scourge infesting our Doghound Bus depots and stripping the veneer off our plastic tree arrangements due to climate change and Skittles blizzards?