Author Topic: I am so excited to be your nominee for Governor of Idaho (Read 753 times)

Moonpie · « **Reply #20 on:** March 03, 2020, 11:07:50 PM »

I can picture the dumb fuck saying it too!

Shen Li · « **Reply #21 on:** March 03, 2020, 11:12:38 PM »

Quote from: Joe Biden on March 03, 2020, 07:04:55 PM

I would like to thank you all on this Super Saturday for supporting this 2014 race for the Wisconsin senate seat. Bernie Manalow has been a tough challenger but together we can make Vermont great again!

As your newly elected mayor of Nashville I will work with Indonesia on a jobs plan and put robust programs in place to boost our economy through offshore drilling along our western coastline and put an end to Alien mining for the Romulan Empire. I will fight for quality hair products and sleeveless business attire for all of our working woman. Especially those in my cabinet.

Let's make this an awesome 2 years!

Yours truly, Joe Jackson

Congrats Joe. We know you will faithfully execute the office of dogcatcher in Ada County.

Joe Biden · « **Reply #22 on:** March 03, 2020, 11:26:55 PM »

Quote from: Vladimirkat Plaidspeed on March 03, 2020, 09:02:42 PM

Sorry, Mr Biden... one more question for now...

If you're elected governor of Potato, how will you combat the unholy invasion of the dreaded Pineapple Hobo scourge infesting our Doghound Bus depots and stripping the veneer off our plastic tree arrangements due to climate change and Skittles blizzards?

You know this question reminds of the times I used to go skiing along the plains of the Nevada desert during some of the coldest winters you could imagine with an 8 track cassette tape. And as a devote Muslim boy I would always make the sign of the cross as the lift would carry me and the other fallen soldiers returning in bags from the beaches of Normandy to the peak of the mountain and have us jump off with our parachutes tightly packed in our lunchboxes.

Id always remember to put rubbing alcohol on my shoelaces and say a prayer for all those devote Jewish friends of mine still fending off the advancing roman army on at the walls of Jericho.

They were the best of times and the worst of times and There's just never been another era after landing on the Moon quite like it.

Joe Butts - what you looking at?

Joe Biden · « **Reply #23 on:** March 03, 2020, 11:31:30 PM »

Quote from: The Iron Chink on March 03, 2020, 11:12:38 PM

Congrats Joe. We know you will faithfully execute the office of dogcatcher in Ada County.

Thank you.

Please show your support by sending any leftover body hair shavings or bushels of recently cut hair follicles to my campaign at:

Biden for Warden of Oklahoma state prison PO box 123 ShekelsTown Nebraska 11367

Elizabeth Warren · « **Reply #24 on:** March 04, 2020, 12:03:13 AM »

Quote from: Biggie Smiles on March 03, 2020, 08:25:00 PM

Mr Biden sir.

Will Pocahontas or any of your other rivals be joining us?

Sir, that is racail bullying and we are NOT Trumps America! We need to all come together and not allow another 2016 and dammit.....do not come together too close to any 13 years olds until after the election. Just sit down and stay in Potatoe.

Joe Biden · « **Reply #25 on:** March 04, 2020, 12:12:20 AM »

Quote from: Elizabeth Warren on March 04, 2020, 12:03:13 AM

Sir, that is racail bullying and we are NOT Trumps America! We need to all come together and not allow another 2016 and dammit.....do not come together too close to any 13 years olds until after the election. Just sit down and stay in Potatoe.

Lizdeath? Wendigo? Why are you here? Didn't Dorthy drop a small Cottage on you a couple of years ago? You make my pancreas curl & I bet your husband prays daily for prostate cancer.

Could you slip and fall and break your neck in a shower far away please?

I'm busy running for District Attorney of Nassau County and I cannot be bothered fanning your horrid breath away with a newspaper.

Shoo. Shoo.

Dovey · « **Reply #26 on:** March 04, 2020, 12:19:00 AM »

Oh gawd....its happening.

My sleep paralysis nightmare is coming true

Biggie Smiles · « **Reply #27 on:** March 04, 2020, 12:19:58 AM »

Quote from: Dovey on March 04, 2020, 12:19:00 AM

Oh gawd....its happening.

My sleep paralysis nightmare is coming true

Looking to be a wheelchair duel to the death over here

Dovey · « **Reply #28 on:** March 04, 2020, 12:20:51 AM »

Quote from: Biggie Smiles on March 04, 2020, 12:19:58 AM

Looking to be a wheelchair duel to the death over here

Dont make any fast movements

Elizabeth Warren · « **Reply #29 on:** March 04, 2020, 12:30:34 AM »

Quote from: Joe Biden on March 04, 2020, 12:12:20 AM

Lizdeath? Wendigo? Why are you here? Didn't Dorthy drop a small Cottage on you a couple of years ago? You make my pancreas curl & I bet your husband prays daily for prostate cancer.

Could you slip and fall and break your neck in a shower far away please?

I'm busy running for District Attorney of Nassau County and I cannot be bothered fanning your horrid breath away with a newspaper.

Shoo. Shoo.

Joe how many times do we have to tell you to shave your legs and stop putting strange kids on your lap? I'll have you know that I bent over and the house crumbled on my hump back. You will not get rid of me that easily!

And how dare you sink so low as to use my husbands ovarian cancer against me

We are coming for you, Joe.

Joe Biden · « **Reply #30 on:** March 04, 2020, 12:42:19 AM »

Quote from: Elizabeth Warren on March 04, 2020, 12:30:34 AM

Joe how many times do we have to tell you to shave your legs and stop putting strange kids on your lap? I'll have you know that I bent over and the house crumbled on my hump back. You will not get rid of me that easily!

And how dare you sink so low as to use my husbands ovarian cancer against me

We are coming for you, Joe.

You are a lying horse face pony testicle. Someone needs to throw a bottle of seltzer water on you and all of your monkeys.

Get your facts straight lady! That girl was 17 and she told me she only needed to touch my penis as part of a geology class project she was working on.

You belong in a herpes jar for all of your evil fibbing and demonic dressing habits.

Pete Buttigieg · « **Reply #31 on:** March 04, 2020, 12:52:14 AM »

My husband is disgusted with both of you nincompoops. Did I mention I'm very very gay and I have a husband who is gay too but we're married as husband and husband which is very very straight and normal, so don't bring it up. It's discriminatory to bring our gay marriage up randomly and that's part of the reason why I dropped out of the race, because gay bashers bashing me and my lovely gay husband (did I mention I'm totally in love with my husband who is a gay male too?).

It's not applicable to the conversation. Stop and desist! I grew up on the streets of Philadelphia! A gangbanging motherfucker except I never slept with a mother, or my mother, cause I'm like very very gay. I lived the struggles of a negro person of color. You wouldn't like me angry. Or my husband for that matter. We will throw down and tag team your asses Joe and Elizabeth. Well, maybe not you Elizabeth. You nearly pass.

Joe, you want to smell our butt hair? Not in a gay way.

Stop bringing homosexuality up! I'm warning you!

Oak · « **Reply #32 on:** March 04, 2020, 12:52:39 AM »

When are you posting something funny Joe and Liz?

Oak · « **Reply #33 on:** March 04, 2020, 12:53:11 AM »

Quote from: Pete Buttigieg on March 04, 2020, 12:52:14 AM

My husband is disgusted with both of you nincompoops. Did I mention I'm very very gay and I have a husband who is gay too but we're married as husband and husband which is very very straight and normal, so don't bring it up. It's discriminatory to bring our gay marriage up randomly and that's part of the reason why I dropped out of the race, because gay bashers bashing me and my lovely gay husband (did I mention I'm totally in love with my husband who is a gay male too?).

It's not applicable to the conversation. Stop and desist! I grew up on the streets of Philadelphia! A gangbanging motherfucker except I never slept with a mother, or my mother, cause I'm like very very gay. I lived the struggles of a negro person of color. You wouldn't like me angry. Or my husband for that matter. We will throw down and tag team your asses Joe and Elizabeth. Well, maybe not you Elizabeth. You nearly pass.

Joe, you want to smell our butt hair? Not in a gay way.

Stop bringing homosexuality up! I'm warning you!

Pete Buttigieg · « **Reply #34 on:** March 04, 2020, 01:14:27 AM »

Quote from: Oak on March 04, 2020, 12:53:11 AM

I do not appreciate your emoji, Madame. It smacks of discrimination and contempt for the noble institution of marriage my gay husband and I (I'm gay too) entered into, so I ask you to edit your emoji out and do not gay bash us one iota further. As persons of color, the three of us should come to a love and respect of one another (without sexual intercourse, as we're very very gay).

We're brown from the waist down and sometimes from the neck up. Why can you not look past our gayness and see that we the same. We're brown all around.

Please treat my gay husband and I with dignity by no longer bringing our very real and loving gay husband with gay husband marriage, when it matters not to who we are or the policies I didn't have when I was still running for President.

I implore you. Me and Chasten beg of you. Enough is enough.