Author Topic: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..  (Read 2796 times)

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Offline BEnzo

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Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« on: April 03, 2020, 10:20:08 PM »
Ohhh the tragedy! The anguish!!
Ohhhhh Big Daddy Zeus feels the pain at FT:
****
vitty's cock pic
Today, 04:34 PM
bingo sucks. people who play bingo all day suck. some guy who is a lurker at ft plays bingo. he used to spam transsexual porn at turd fail. he also claimed to be heterosexual. he steals posts from ft cause he sucks. he won't be reading this post cause he claims he wont click a dick pic thread. if this post shows up at sg, he lied.

fuck bingo. keno aint much better. scratch tickets? you know the stuff you scratch off, that silver like substance. it is highly toxic. the cure? buy more scratch tickets until your body becomes immune. it is like getting bit by the same snake over and over until you develop anti bodies. so if you buy one scratch ticket, you gotta buy a lot more. that is how the state makes money.

you can get high by smelling bingo daubers. that is what benzo said.
****

BEnzo=Butthurt.

Don't be like Big Daddy Zeus.
Don't let BEnzo become to you,
like I've become Fox,
Bigger than the Corona Virus.

Can I get a 'peace' Lems?
{PEACE!}




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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2020, 10:28:46 PM »
Now, for those that don't go back very far,
Big Daddy has BEEN BITCHING ABOUT DELIVERY FROM EVERY IMAGINABLE SERVICE FOR AT LEAST THE LAST TEN YEARS.
If it isn't EBay, it's fucking Overstock or some doosh collectibles website. Enuff complaining to make you fucking scream:

****
note i got from amazon
Today, 12:35 PM
Hello, (sucker)

We're contacting you about your order of Eighth Wonder Of The World to let you know that you may not receive this item on the day it is released.

We are closely monitoring the developments of COVID-19 and its impact on our customers, selling partners, and employees. With this in mind, we are temporarily prioritizing household staples, medical supplies and other high demand products coming into our fulfillment centers so that we can more quickly receive, restock and deliver these products to customers. As a result, your order may be delayed. We are working urgently to bring on additional capacity to deliver customer orders.

You'll still receive the item as soon as possible following release and you can track the latest shipment status of your order under Your Orders on Amazon.com.


so the book about andre the giant i ordered is not considered a high priority? first it was the last of us 2 being delayed, now they are fucking with the andre the giant biography.
****

IT'S A GLOBAL PANDEMIC YOU DUMB BITCH!
Things will be delayed.
Peace Lems?
{PEACE!}
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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2020, 10:29:29 PM »
Like LivePD, I'm doing this in real time.
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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2020, 10:40:26 PM »
Covid19 Home class exercise #1

Read the following this weekend and take notes.
Pay special attention to the underlying buttpain of the author.
I suggest read half on Saturday, half on Sunday.
Cliff notes online for $.99 at OOTIKOF website. A good study guide.
Test Monday at 9am.
Expect 15 Multiple Choice,
5 Fill in the blank,
And 1 Essay question(s).
Good Luck-

****
the neighbors from hell
Today, 03:55 PM
so the neighbors were a married couple. one child. man was portugeese, the women was bitch. they were rush limbaugh evangelical christians meaning they were hypocrites. they had to show how christian they were so they adopted a kid. not just any kid but a troubled kid no one else wanted. 6 years old, father in jail, mother a druggy. how do i know that? i am nosey and looked them up on the web.

anyway. at first the kid seems alright. but as time goes on things get strange. they buy him a motorized car. he drives it up and down his driveway for hours. he goes into the middle of the road causing cars to swerve. people say, he is going to get hit one day. that day comes. some women hits his fucking car, just a small bump but he ran into his house and the father had to comfort the distraught driver. the parents let him keep driving that dam thing up and down drive the driveway. no discipline at all.

he would stare at you. i was putting some bird food into a feeder and he is giving the charllie manson stare. saying nothing. just starring. i am spooked and hurry up. i go back inside and peek out the window, he is still there and now he is looking up into our kitchen window, can he see me? fucking creeper

then he goes from that phase to the hi phase. he starts saying "hi" to everyone he sees. at first it's cute but then it starts getting on your nerves. hi to the mailman. hi to the ups guy. hi to the electrician. and he won't stop saying hi until you say hi back. the older neighbor walks his dog. damien, lets call him that, damien starts yelling "hi" the neighbor says hi back. eventually the neighbor gets sick of this and pretends not to hear damien anymore. all you hear is hi, hi, hi. hi. as the man walks his dog. he stops to talk to us and the kids is still saying hi and the neighbor says to us, "fuck that kid, he says hi to everyone and is a pain in the ass. he keeps coming around my house like i am his father, what is wrong with his fucking parents, don't they care what he is doing?

umm no they don't. they expected the neighborhood to babysit him. i am weeding. he comes over and asks what am i doing. "i am weeding". ohhhh. so i gotta babysit him and weed. i begin to stay inside the house when he is outside so i wont get ambushed. he eventually goes across the street where another married couple live and they babysit him. he is over there all day. he goes into their house without being asked and takes a piss in the toilet and does not flush. he turns on all the lights and takes a soda from their freezer. his mother comes out and has no idea where he is. so she goes to each house and asks if damien is there.

he wanders all over the neighborhood, parents are oblivious. their bio son stays close by, he is behaved. this little shit is a horror show. i look out the window one day and he is pissing in the mothers flower bed. another time he is trying to start a riding lawnmower while it is on the back of a truck. he starts swearing. he is about 8 years old now and he goes to the convenience store and tries to buy cigarettes. he goes into peoples garages and takes stuff.

their parents belong to some fundy church. they have vids on facebook of teens getting baptism dunkings. they have a father/daughter valentines dance. pictures of fathers on dates with their young daughters. it may be innocent but it looks sleezy and gives you the heebie jeebies. they have "home church" meaning 8 to 10 cars show up at around 8pm and park all over the street. these fools are having bible study. are they? i had a strong suspension they were "swinging" if you know what i mean. this was every week. all these weird people slamming doors, walking on the lawn. this is not zoned for a church, wtf.

they then adopt a black girl aged 12. she ends up beating up damien and the bio son. she lasts less than a week before she is sent back to the orphanage.

these parents are assholes. little damien just gets worse. the parents claim he has autism and dyslexia and an eating disorder. or maybe he is just a bad seed and instead of adopting such a troubled kid, why not get a dog instead and cherish your bio son.

well they do get a dog, and i fear for his safety. damien is throwing fits, i see him sucker punching mom in the driveway. mom goes on facebook, she links an article that says "is your son the next high school shooter" and under this she has a picture of damien. then she posts about how hard it is dealing with a troubled child, woe is me.

one day we see a for sale sign on their lawn. thank god. the deal falls through. they stay.

damien ends up in a mental institution for weeks. the mother blames his meds. the neighbors prevent their children from playing with damien. they gotta get kids from church to come over and play with damien. the bio son does not want to play with damien. people no longer go outside if damien is outside. he rolls on his lawn talking to someone only he can see. he does this a lot. the parents are basically clueless. the mother lets damien wander off, is she hoping he gets lost or is abducted? i think so. one night she comes rapping at the door. "where is damien". we have not seen him. the cops get called and they find him a couple streets away in someones garage. does the mother learn anything. no. he wanders off again and again, they don't care. the bio son is studying in his room, damien, who the fuck knows what he is doing. she continues to post on facebook how hard taking care of this kid is.

another for sale sign goes on their lawn. all the neighbors cheer.

damien is now swearing worse than when i was possessed. he tells a neighbor he can do what he wants. the neighbor threatens to call his parents. he says he will just intercept the call. he has put on weight. he looks nothing like the bio son. he has a buzz cut mohawk. the parents approved of this haircut?

he is sent home from school for pulling down his pants and doing god knows what. how do you know all this? cause neighbors talk and i am nosey.

these motherfuckers are the worst neighbors ever. from the home church to this crazy kid, to their weekend church picnics at their home. all these screaming fundy kids and parents with their glazed eyes making all this noise. i used to hang blair witch stick men on this un used clothes line just to piss them off. they were so fake and raging phonies. the most obnoxious kids and parents you would ever meet.

they sold the house. amen. everyone was so happy. they moved out and some new neighbors moved in. quiet people. this kid is terrorizing some other neighborhood now.
****

*BOOM*
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2020, 10:46:36 PM »
Benz-Benz spam-spam his own thread-thread!  :biglaugha:

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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2020, 10:48:04 PM »
Home exercise #1 Extra Credit Question:
Based upon the following excerpt,
Who is the author most upset with?

****
Today, 08:58 AM
did dovey and km say grace before eating each others niblets?

did dove speak in tongues when the blow job was done?

did you use any protection other than prayer?

did dovey anoint km's penis with oil?

did dovey "bark" during sex?

did dovey self flagellate after sex?

did dovey cover KM's jesus statue with a towel before having sex? guess what. he still saw what you did.

sounds like a skit cut out of the movie Porky's.

dove wakes up in bed with KM. confused and mortified, she makes a hasty exit leaving her self respect behind but not KM's nintendo switch. dove makes her way to the nearest non denominational church and enters the bathroom. dove tries to get rid of everything that reminds her of km and ends up practically flushing her vagina down the toilet. a pastor knocks on the bathroom stall and asks if everything is alright. there is no answer. the pastor opens the door and finds dovey lying naked on the floor surrounded by ten empty bags of skittles. a large pixie stick is stuck in her arm and one hangs out her mouth. her asshole is the color of the rainbow. the pastor administers an enema and flushes out over 200 skittles. dovey lets out a gasp and sits up. the pastor says, "are you alright, say something". dove replies, "something". the pastor helps dove to her feet and says, "that was fucking trippy, haha"

dove returns home cradling km's love child which is named "nintendo switch"

dove threatens to late term abort km's love child by flushing him down the toilet. km pleads for the child's life.

dove growls three times and rubs her magic strap on and jursy girl appears in a puff of smoke. jursy girl says the only way to settle this is to have a flame match with km and cunty. dove places jursy girl in her purse and sets out to beat km in a flame icon vs icon match.
****
{oh, the pain}
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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2020, 10:49:28 PM »
Benz-Benz spam-spam his own thread-thread!  :biglaugha:


Go fuck a TP roll, Faggot-
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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2020, 10:57:31 PM »
****
Today, 10:30 AM
how was sex ed?

one time we are at class and they lower the lights and are playing a movie about herpes. then we have this one girl who must have had an all night banger cause she was half asleep. they are passing out pamphlets that are nothing but a picture of a dick. they are passing out these condoms that are not condoms but are again, pamphlets that look like condoms. one kid thought it would be funny to place all the dick and condom pamphlets on this sleepy girls lap and he is giving me some to place on her lap and she has a shit load of these things piled up on her lap and we wake her up and one kids says, "these are for you, the teacher wants you to read this" and she wakes up and is looking at this stuff which again is just some drawing of a dick and she throws them on the floor and is going WTF.

another class they had us in groups drawing dicks and pussy. this was awful. that new age teacher was out of her mind. at the end of class she would have people write questions on pieces of paper then she would read them and go around the room and we were all supposed to answer them. since the teacher would not know who wrote what questions, people would write crazy shit. the boy next to me writes, "ever milk a tit?" and he sticks that question in the question jar. and i write something like, "are you fucking gay?" then the teacher is reaching into the question jar pulling out the questions and reading them. then crumpling the question up and throwing it into the trash and giving the class a dirty look. she can not read hand writing so she don't know who writes what question so half of them get thrown in the trash. the ones that do get read are lame like, "what is your favorite tv show?. you could pass on any question when it came your turn and i would pass on basically all of them cause this was really a bunch of new age crap. what is your fav show? pass! really, you don't have a fav show? i said pass bitch, did i just stutter?

one time we had a pro life speaker. the whole school is gathered in the gymnasium. they hand out a plastic fetus and it is getting passed around. i some how end up seated next to another big kid who is a wise ass. when the fetus gets to us i hand it to him and he places it in his mouth and i am sure he is going to swallow it but he does not. instead he is holding onto it way too long and examining it. the other kids are like, pass it down already and he is going. " i wanna get a good look at this fetus". then we had another boy, he was a rich liberal i guess cause he starts arguing with the pro life speakers and demanding they explain why they are forcing women to have all these unwanted babies. the nuns are getting angry. the principal tells him to sit back down. that is high school, in middle school we were shown a movie about some dog that got drunk and mauled some child or puked on the carpet, not sure. we had to write an essay about the dangers of drinking. my essay got read. i recall writing that the dog was not responsible since whoever put booze in his water bowl was the real criminal.

in middle school the nuns would have donuts delivered in the morning. you only got one if you paid a weekly fee. i was not paying that fee and the donuts sucked. one girl is eating her donut and she starts gagging and spits out a bolt that has a nut attached to it. obviously this fell off the donut making machine and ended up inside this donut, which was one of those round ones with the custard center. you know what compensation she got for almost cracking her teeth? a free replacement donut.

the only fight i got in. this was not really a fight but this boy kept doing something, i don't even remember what he was doing but i must have flipped him off and the nun saw me and tells me to go to the principals office. i am like, this kid is the one who is acting all crazy, what is wrong with you. so i don't punch people or stab. but i did wanna show everyone how annoyed i was with this situation. so as i am exiting the classroom i took this pencil eraser and i bounced it off his head when i passed him on my way out the door. class broke out in laughter. he even apologized later.

in high school we also had to sometimes do the teachers jobs. they would leave the class and have a mini conference and chose one or two students to sit at their desk and make sure everyone behaves. i got called up once and i am with that wise ass kid and he is demanding for people to stop smoking weed in the classroom and telling this other kid that his fly is open and his dick is hanging out. i am next to him just staring in shock waiting for the teacher to come back. i don't say shit. he goes on and on demanding that kid put his dick back in his pants cause it's scaring the girls. he aint even high. i know who the high kid is because he sits behind me in that class. he is practically in my lap cause he lounges and i have to keep adjusting his legs because they are always up on my chair, his sneakers are past my knees, it is like a chair harness with his legs keeping me tucked into my chair and this is every day cause he is high every day. some days i am even tying his fucking shoes cause he is too high to do that.

then we have a test and when you finish you hand it to another kid and they grade it while the teacher reads the answers. stupid idea. he takes my test and i take his and he is whispering, erase all my wrong answers so i get a 90 to 95 grade and he is doing the same with my paper. chalk that up to lazy teachers. too lazy to grade the dam test. we both pass that class with decent grades.

at cath high school the cool thing was you could leave the school grounds at lunch. i would go with this other kid sometimes to an actual restaurant and share french fries. other kids went for pizza. others, the high ones, went to this variety store and they would take a twinkie off the shelf and eat it, not pay for it. i walk in and they are stuffing free food in my pockets. eventually the owner calls the cops and everyone gets banned from that store.
****
^^^^

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Offline Baby Doll

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2020, 11:05:12 PM »
cunty was right.
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Offline Baby Doll

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2020, 12:52:48 AM »
vitty, he did not repost your "gettin high in school post'. it was a good post.


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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2020, 06:11:54 AM »
cunty was right.
Fuck, nobody knows the butthurt better than Sum Bum, Big Daddy-
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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #11 on: April 04, 2020, 07:16:59 AM »
Flametruth.
Where words go to die.
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Offline Garraty_47

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #12 on: April 04, 2020, 10:27:27 AM »
vitty, he did not repost your "gettin high in school post'. it was a good post.

Bonzo and I have a love/hate relationship.
He loves me and hates himself for it.
Having people figure it out is what terrifies him most in this world and he's one of those guys with a sense of masculinity so fragile he gets mad at anything that scares him because he imagines the fear is emasculating.

Silly Bonzo. Silly perpetually angry Bonzo.
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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #13 on: April 04, 2020, 10:44:50 AM »
Flametruth.
Paragraphs are not welcome.
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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #14 on: April 04, 2020, 10:49:27 AM »
Flametruth.
The land of the Run-On sentence.
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The Queen Bee

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #15 on: April 04, 2020, 10:55:54 AM »
Go fuck a TP roll, Faggot-



It’s called a fifi. Prison thing - they stuff an empty to roll with plastic and Vaseline
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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #16 on: April 04, 2020, 11:58:55 AM »


It’s called a fifi. Prison thing - they stuff an empty to roll with plastic and Vaseline
Jesus. A pencil dick might fit.
Say this^^ at FT and all the brah's would get pissed.
CW's Clit would fit tho-
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Offline BEnzo

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #17 on: April 04, 2020, 12:03:00 PM »
Flametruth.
No Fun,
No Funny,
And Sum Bum still has no money.
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The Queen Bee

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #18 on: April 04, 2020, 12:09:19 PM »
Flametruth.
No Fun,
No Funny,
And Sum Bum still has no money.



I thought Canada is giving their people 2000.00 a month ?



Oh wait, is he even a citizen ?
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Offline Captain Caveman

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Re: Ohhhh The Butthurt Thread..
« Reply #19 on: April 04, 2020, 12:12:19 PM »


I thought Canada is giving their people 2000.00 a month ?



Oh wait, is he even a citizen ?

From all accounts that I've seen, he's a dyed in the wool Canuckistani....
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