What will you bid for Emily? Auction starts at midnight Thursday evening

[AMF]

Based on the success of the Nigerian daddy who auctioned off his daughter for 500 cows, 2 luxury automobiles, some cash, 2 bikes, a boat, and a few cellphones to be the ninth wife of some scuzzy rich Nigerian , I'm pleased to announce the very first

OFFICIAL STOMPING GROUNDz SLAVE AUCTION
On the block, we have Emily Friday, a free spirited newcomer who specializes in venomous, brutal flames that (even if they are prewrites) are overall a higher quality than we're used to as a steady diet.

Nigerian story:  https://www.yahoo.com/news/child-bride-auction-south-sudan-goes-viral-sparks-140703244.html
Emily's profile:  https://stomping-groundz.com/index.php?action=profile;area=showposts;u=65


THIS WILL BE A BLACK FRIDAY AUCTION beginning at midnight tonight (11:59:59 PM) forum time and running through the weekend (72 hours) and ending Sunday night.

What you are bidding on: 
It is unlikely Emily can be compelled to marry anyone or even engage in oral sex.  In fact, it's also unlikely that Emily is an actual female (so all you incels out there please bear this in mind.) 
It's also unlikely that Emily will have any interest in doing fuck all else for you.  All you will "win" in this auction is the chance to proclaim yourself "her" lord and master, husband and keeper for a period of ONE WEEK.  If you like, we will provide an image for you to use in your siggy to this effect.

What will happen to the property you bid:
First, note that you're not being asked to buy a pig in a sack.  You may include in your bid ANY STIPS you feel are necessary.  If you win, the booty will be paid into the SG treasury in order to finance a padded room to serve as Emily's personal dungeon or SM training facility for those who dare to enter, and a place perhaps to archive any of her random posts that are deemed inappropriate in the original location she chose (there are none of these as yet.)

Who will judge your bids:
IronMonkey and either Peaches or King Martini, as a committee of 2
You yourself will have to decide on the relative values of cash, diamonds, cows, or flames when constructing your bids. 

HOW TO BID:
You may enter your bid and  stips in the Official Bids Thread at any time during the auction.  Once you post your bid, you can only revise it during the time allotted for courtesy edits.  Any bid showing an EDIT STAMP will be disqualified.

Helpful info:
Two bidders have already expressed interest, but these are not to be taken as official bids.

https://stomping-groundz.com/index.php?topic=765.msg8752#msg8752
Six says he will bid one sick cow and a broke Galaxy S3.

https://stomping-groundz.com/index.php?topic=765.msg8767#msg8767
AryanPride says if she is from good Aryan stock and not a grotesque, hairy abomination, he may consider making a bid.

[Lemon]

Emilio is hairy, but Aryan will like his ancestry.com.  Watch out for the alien dna in his orifices, tho.  And those alien implants will have to come out.  I am going to bid one 60-pack of those little disposable flosser thingies from Dollar Tree.

[Emily Friday]

Emilio is hairy, but Aryan will like his ancestry.com.  Watch out for the alien dna in his orifices, tho.  And those alien implants will have to come out.  I am going to bid one 60-pack of those little disposable flosser thingies from Dollar Tree.

I think you should find a  firearms retailer capable of translating your random grunts and clicking noises into the sale of a high powered 12 gauge shotgun at a ridiculously inflated price which you can then press up against your furry paint-roller uni-brow to perform the only act would could be deemed purposeful in your sordid life.

Fuck off and explode somewhere far away would you?

[Lemon]

I think you should find a  firearms retailer capable of translating your random grunts and clicking noises into the sale of a high powered 12 gauge shotgun at a ridiculously inflated price which you can then press up against your furry paint-roller uni-brow to perform the only act would could be deemed purposeful in your sordid life.

Fuck off and explode somewhere far away would you?

I thought you enjoyed the meat market, Mr. Rump Roast!

[AMF]

Is this a cover up thread because Peaches has no problem with Cyber bullying children?

If you read more, you'd know that Peaches has always been unalterably opposed to it.

Would you prefer I conduct this auction somewhere else?

[Aryan]

I bid a shekel, but only when a facial photo and deep vaginal pic are presented.....

[AMF]

You can have your pity thread anywhere you want. Having it here, in the biggest forum, makes you look like you're need attention, or that your dead boards are....how I say, vacant enough to have to get "noticed" here.

Actually, I'm doing you a favor.  You may not have noticed due to your overextended schedule, but the general section has been MUCH busier over the past few days than the flame section has been,   In short, you need the traffic (such as it may be.)

...children...children...children...children...?

Shop that canard somewhere else, lamer.

[Aryan]

Emilio is hairy, but Aryan will like his ancestry.com.  Watch out for the alien dna in his orifices, tho.  And those alien implants will have to come out.  I am going to bid one 60-pack of those little disposable flosser thingies from Dollar Tree.

I trust those (((Ancestry websites))) about as much as I trust the (((mainstream media))).

[AMF]

Auction has begun.  If you tried to bid above, you must repeat your bid in the Bidding thread at
https://stomping-groundz.com/index.php?topic=835.msg8864#msg8864

Bids posted in this thread will not be considered.  Refer to the rules above in the OP.  This is now the comments thread.

Good luck, bidders!

[Emily Friday]

I thought you enjoyed the meat market, Mr. Rump Roast!

"Mr Rump Roast" hahahaha so funny! Now go snort a few lines of Ajax you sickly spam parrot.

[The Queen Bee]

She must be getting under ya’lls skin. I’m usually the one playing guess the nic


Let her be, for crying out loud

[Biggie Smiles]

I'm getting the angry hasn't been fucked in a year vibe outta her so I'm just staying out of her way

for now

[The Queen Bee]

He's not female... you don't need to prop that ho up under your Sisterhood of Traveling Yoga Pants Charter..

My bad. I forgot you’re the expert on gender roles 

[Emily Friday]

Ajax snorting AND a subtle admission to Kaspar Hauser's spam parrot lore...
 

You sure like to announce your origins...

Oh my God the poor little starving children in Africa are not so poor after all it seems; as it is us that have to deal with this mentally impoverished stubborn little knuckle dragging twat who screams of penis in the shadows and boogymen under his bed

Tell me, micro dick, did your parents manage to produce any offspring that lived? You haven't the slightest scooby as to what you're brooding about at any given time yet your unquenchable estrogen envy wont let you keep your weaponized death breath to yourself will it?

Day in and day out you batter your poor keyboard and our eyes with your mind numbing mantra which lacks point or purpose like this site was your personal platform to champion a congressional filabuster. Frankly, your never ending chaulk board scratch makes me want amputate all twelve of your furry little fingers with a chisel and mallet and then impale your face to your own monitor with a nailgun.

Christ almighty we can place men on the moon but can't build an algorithim that identifies and destroys the computers of shit posting wombats like the one above? How unfortunate.

[Biggie Smiles]

[The Queen Bee]

Vitty summed it up when he called it generic try-hard word salad or something to that effect...

I believe Emily summed it up when she called him a witless dullard


None of you are a match for her level of brutality. Sorry but it’s true

[The Queen Bee]

It's sometimes amusing to consider that you own a flame board...

Why ? Cuz I’m a female

[AMF]

Auction has begun.  If you tried to bid above, you must repeat your bid in the Bidding thread at
https://stomping-groundz.com/index.php?topic=835.msg8864#msg8864

Bids posted in this thread will not be considered.  Refer to the rules above in the OP.  This is now the comments thread.

Good luck, bidders!

Looks like the auction was a flop.

I would have bid myself, but you know....conflict of interest.