Happy Birthday Dovey Roast Thread

[Captain Caveman]

You're still short, squatty, gaunt in the face, fat in the arse, have mediocre tastes in music, an unhealthy interest in sky pasta lords mythology, and you're a domestic abuser of Switches....

...but happy birthday anyway... 

Your feet will be be pole dancing again soon enough...

(Between a walking frame...) 

[Captain Caveman]

Remember to keep the body hair down best as possible and get a vinehar soaked sponge on a stick up ya regularly for your hubby's sake.

After 40, most women turn three quarters Yetti, one quarter dead carp.. 

[Captain Caveman]

Didn't you say your imaginary girl is in her 50's?

Full body electrolysis and a resleeve... it wasn't cheap. 

[Captain Caveman]

You do occasionally get women that age who are still attractive, Google 'Carla from Coronation Street'....

I've actually met her and I went shy as fuck, which is extremely uncharacteristic for me. She is that hot.

My mate got hugs backstage from Kate Pearson from the B-52's about 12 years ago. He reckoned she looked like she was in her late 30's...

Probably cosmetic surgery and treatments though...

[Captain Caveman]

Huh? You've talked to the roomie?
That's groundbreaking. Frood might be finally taking some real steps.
Good for him. If he comes out of the closet fully I won't be able to call him a faggot anymore.

Projection doesn't suit you, BEnzover....

[Captain Caveman]

You drunk yet Frood? The sun's over the yard arm somewhere in the world.

 

Nope....sunday here and school in the morning...

[Captain Caveman]

I know it's Sunday. I've been up since yesterday morning and partied all night. I took a couple of Red Xanax so I'm floating somewhere on a cloud. Have a drink for me pal. I've given it up.

 

Not until Friday or Saturday, mate...

[Captain Caveman]

Social anything becomes a rort eventually.

There shouldn't have been a drug war though. We can agree on that.