I thought I smelled the stench of military stupidity around here.
So you all did a little time in play jail eh?
I've always stayed just on the right side of the law and they've never been able to prove anything against me.
Some years ago though I was living in Belfast and went to Glasgow to close a deal not realising the guy I was doing business with was a crook and was being watched by the pigs.
I got stuck in the middle when the guy got busted and as my address was in another country I was considered a flight risk and denied bail.
I was remanded to HMP Barlinne awaiting trial and let me tell you this was real jail. 1600 Glaswegian psychos with razor blades all trying to slit some fuckers face up. As the only Englishman there I was somewhat of a target. Even the screws fuckin hated me. Shitting in a bucket in a cell designed for 1 but holding 4 was utterly degrading but the palpable feeling of impending violence was terrifying.
I was found not guilty and released after 3 months.
An experience I would never want to revisit.