I had this gf years ago...didn't know more than 10 words of English and fiery-jealous as fuck...
One night she came around where I was staying and accused me of all sorts of untoward things, so I told her to leave...which just pissed her off even more and she tried slapping me repeatedly..
...so I gave her the option.. the door or the window...her eyes went huge...she went dead still...and we both burst out laughing.
We were a dozen or so floors up over an ocean ledge...
...things were sweet after that.
Black women come up with even better and more entertaining conspiracy theories though.
I had this black girl one time who, while sucking my cock on her knees, reaches in a cups my balls. Shortly afterwards She suddenly stops slobbering ferociously and with my balls still in hand looks up and me and tells me my balls are not hanging as low as they usually do.
Naturally, I'm in a state of complete disbelief but all too curious as to where this is going. So I say "ok and" with that what the fuck is your dysfunction
look on my face
To my horror she immediately leaps back off of her knees in what can only be described as a gravity defying breakdance maneuver and tells me "who you been fucking motherfucker".
Stunned, naturally, I respond with "no one, why do you ask"
Then she goes on to explain a theory which to this day causes me to roll with laughter. Apparently she more or less gauged the weight and hang of my balls throughout the duration of our short relationship. And then went on to construct some hang/weight median to precisely determine when my nuts were filled with semen vs when they were not.
Naturally, less semen results in less weight, less weight results in less hang, and under such circumstances the only reasonable conclusion to draw was that I had expended the semen on some other "whore"
I blocked her after that episode.