As a public service announcement and a guide for Oak, I have decided to post my incredible weight loss. Only problem is that it has worked too well. I am about ten pounds under weight. I want to increase my carbs.
I am the most fit right that I have been in years. People ask me. Herm what is your secret?
Being Ukrainian, I love my food and being a redneck I love my hooch. There had to be a way of losing weight without turning into some West coast latte sipping fairy. So, I created a few pointers that Jenny Craig herself would be jealous of.
1.Get up no later than five am.
2. Down a gallon of strong coffee and no food.
3. Go outside and start right in to the hardest jobs on the farm before it gets hot out.
4. Don't drink your first beer until 9 am and drink it slowly.
5. Next beer break is at 11 am. Drink this one a little faster.
6. 12:30 third beer break.
7. At 1:30 put a half dozen perogies in the pan and crack a beer while waiting for them to cook. Crack another one while eating.
8. No more beer breaks until 4 pm.
9. At six pm fire up the bbq and throw a venison Kolbassa ring on. Crack a beer while waiting and text the old lady to bring you out the mustard, onions and two whole wheat sausage buns. By the time the old lady brings that to you, you are ready for another can of beer. Guzzle it down and then tie into the sausages.
10. Work another hour, put your tools away, gather all the beer cans up and head inside and clean up.
11. Watch the news, check TBC, and then fill your glass with barrel wash.
12. Fill your glass with swish about three more times and then hit the hay and repeat tomorrow.
One important note; don't smoke too much dope. It makes me hungry and I work less too.
