Author Topic: Are there any real men on this board?  (Read 5414 times)

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Offline Emily Friday

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Are there any real men on this board?
« on: November 20, 2018, 05:15:31 PM »
Oh for fucks sake these apron wearing cock smugglers cry more than a caravan of menstruating nuns with a hormone imbalance on Good Friday that haven't been fucked since Regan was in office.

Take some Viagra and stick your dead dick into a wall socket if pettiness such as having a post moved from here to there turns your batman underoos into a bright red Twizzlers sticking out of your bleeding asshole like a rodent tail.

Chris Almighty you'd think a collection of herpes and other wild STDs contracted after years of llama rape or the really bad mid life crisis comb-overs would be of concern to these hog humping degenerates.  But no, not anything serious like that, cause it's post migrations and all the serious retribution that comes with it that makes their eyes swell to the size of a baseball.

Go find a toaster oven and stuff your testicles as far down as you can, before some desperate female out there finds herself desperate and drunk enough to allow you the opportunity to mate.

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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2018, 05:30:33 PM »
A man who could spit ball his cock through a sippy straw isn't either, mumpy.

What's your point?

Or did you leave that along with the rest of your brain at the truck stop restroom?
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2018, 07:06:29 PM »
You sound like one of those angry, hairy legged, shaven headed, butch bull-dyke feminists who wonders why she can’t get a man while being about as attractive to the opposite sex as a fresh out of the jungle sub Saharan African negress.
Somebody should petition congress to bomb your trailer park and leave the cockroaches to raise the IQ cap in the area you sister humping dunce. I don't sound like anything because you're reading me not hearing me, or has that simple fact managed to escape the troughs of your sunken eye sockets you morbidly unintelligent lisping hillbilly. 

Have an orderly relieve you of your keyboard before you manage to sodomize yourself with it any further, fucksplat
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2018, 07:19:28 PM »
I'd say anyone who can tolerate her insult-generator drivel for more than 5 minutes.
What are you?  Third-world forum filler or just someone to kick in the nuts when I have nothing better to do? 

Go climb a tree and swoon a monkey with some chloroform if you need a little midnight action back at your clay hut, jungle hick.
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2018, 07:48:08 PM »
The Trailer Park ‘insult’ doesn’t really apply to someone who doesn’t live in the US so you might want to re-think that one....
Are you saying as a matter of record there are NO trailer parks outside the US? Take the ballgag and dog muzzle off and be clear, dolt. Amuse me with your 4th grade vernacular

You’re also trying way too hard.
No. It only seems that way to a dicksplashing dullard who has to pause, take a deep breath and a sip of water between every word that's five characters or more..
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2018, 08:06:20 PM »
Did some guy who lives on a Trailer Park break your heart or something?

Did some girl you don't know just stuff your try hard to be smart antics so far up your sperm smelling dick tunnel that it now looks like a  dog shit bouquet sprouting out from over your hair lip? 

Fuck off back to behind the urinal you irrelevant cretin and only approach me when God orders you to be smart.
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2018, 09:29:49 PM »
Oh for crying out loud why weren't you disposed of properly at birth along with all the other mistakes that came out of a petri dish? Would you like to make yourself useful for a change, Aryan PillowBiter? Gargle a wet paper bag filled with thumb takes on Facebook live.

I promise to give you a like if you do.
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2018, 01:55:06 PM »
I don't doubt that a bit, you screechy sociopath.

Anywho, 'sup Em? You know, I've got a theory. All this talk of dick, STD drips and visceral hatred of all things testes equipped sorta makes me think you're one of those type of trap house sex slave escapee's who spent the last four years having strange mens cocks take furlough in one of your handful of holes before finally gnawing your wrist off with your jagged meth eroded chompers and managed to make it to a police station.

And I'm happy for you. Equally happy for those paying customers too, since your unwashed and chained up ass probably had the appeal of a camping trip to California in the uncontained fire zone near the end.

So what do you plan to do with your life now that you're no longer acquiring most of your nutrients through liquid temp man butter? Run for office? Become a serial killing vigilante prostitute a la Aileen Wuornos? Or just bitch about dudes on SG?

We care, Em. Tell us all about it.
Are you looking for a pat on the head for that disorganized bundle of wet sputter you frail n flabby shaved orangutan?

Stick to picking your nose with a utility knife you sorry face muppet
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2018, 10:02:29 AM »
I bid 1 sick cow and a broke Galaxy S3 for Emily
If you throw in your dentures and walker that might sweeten the deal shrimp dick
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #9 on: November 23, 2018, 10:05:15 AM »
Winner must provide video of her bent over the workshop table screaming for more
Screaming for more as is why didn't God give you more. Right, tiny?
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2018, 11:44:39 AM »
I could bruise the back of your throat with little effort -
Oh how cute. The nurse's station is spiking the Ensure for seniors with LSD again.

Listen Gramps, it's really adorable watching you shit your drawers while you struggle in angst  to whistle with no teeth, but I assure you, despite what those powerful drugs are telling you, that your meager little worm dick could never touch the back of my throat unless you're planning on cutting it off and throwing it at me while I have my mouth open.

Now get back in your scooter and go find some stray pitbulls to piss off.
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #11 on: November 23, 2018, 02:07:17 PM »
I hope not.
It's a joyless little bundle of extraneous adjectives and forced tepid hostility that only succeeds in being boring.
It doesn't deserve any answers, much less satisfactory ones.

Well look at this, the community draw card himself has been picking his nose all morning and wants to share. Honestly, If I felt an opinion the likes of yours were needed Id have splashed cold water on a homeless bum sleeping on a park bench you hollow tooth, bummed down Kenny Rogers looking motherfucker.  At least his nonsensical screeches and bright red composition would be funny.

Instead here I have you, and the only thing funny about you is watching your tongue dangle aimlessly as you exhale your particularly vapid flatulence onto the board as if someone would give the slightest fuck what opinions are floating around underneath that bad comb-over which hasn't washed properly since WoodStock.

When exactly have you been responsible for lighting up a board with your catatonic comedy routine? Your bland brand of imitation wit is as interesting as watching a turtle defecate on the floor and your rasp podcasts make me visualize someone who should have been murdered savagely during the civil war.

You and blandscape are the tedium & monotony cartel around these parts vying for top spot in the electronically delivered sleep aid business. So if it isn't dulling the masses with your cold turkey opinions I think you should stick to dancing around a make believe bonfire in your crimson spandex and bottle cap groin plates with the rest of you knights of spastic tardism.


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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #12 on: November 23, 2018, 04:29:35 PM »
Lolwhut?
Since when?  According to whom?

Um, sarcasm you witless dullard. Look it up after your evening shit but before you to retire back into the hole in your floor board for the night.


LMAO @ dancing around the bonfire. Emily be knowing about the KOF  :crampe: :crampe:

Oh yes. Bunch of gaunt looking SSI recipients acting like a gaggle of adolescent youth at a sleep away camp. Minus of course, the vibrancy and possibility of sleeping with a woman before they keel over midway through pecking out an online post which ain't worth reading to begin with.

I am certainly a party to their perpetual ridicule.   
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #13 on: November 23, 2018, 05:31:12 PM »
Thanks fer that - goes into my account every 3rd Wednesday of each month

That a boy, think about the bigger things in life. Now get back in your wheelchair and bob the wall like there's something worth getting on the otherside. I'm sure the nurse will be along shortly to change your diaper and freshen you up with a garden hose.
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #14 on: November 23, 2018, 10:46:47 PM »
Another know-nothing using excessive verbiage as a crutch so we might not notice the limp in its wit.  Just what the place needed... more random faux "meanness" that only impresses the kind of people who lurve drama, the pettier the better.  Joy.  Rapture.

Color me less impressed every time it pecks at its keyboard to submit the next installment of "Generic Laming 101".
But it's not all bad news... like most derivative prepackaged pablum in popular culture these days I'm sure you'll attract fans.
After all what the brain-dead glommers-on want most of all is more of the same, no matter how stupid or ridiculous.

Oh my. I hate to break this news to you so close to Christmas; You being a chipper old git and all, but I'm reasonably confident the piping action under your mock throne is acting up again King Arturd. To address this matter of dire importance my advice to you would be to put down the dogshit doobie you're smoking and get on the red phone for a call to action among your fellow knights of the soggy scrotum. Inform those sorry shitforbrain school yard flashers that it is of critical importance they cease squandering their meager livelihood on Russian phonesex lines and focus their ssi stipend on a capable plumber instead.  As the smell of your own bullshit backing up beneath you is beginning to make rounds far and wide and is becoming a public health & hygiene concern.

Take copious notes here Sir AssHuffALot. This is a flame board. Which basically means people come here to insult one another. Some of course, more capable at the practice than others. You, happening to fall squarely into the second category. Today, and every day that's gone by since you first expressed your willingness to become target practice for whomever decided they wanted to lock you into their cross-hairs for personal amusement. If that concept somehow alludes you, or you are unsure how to engage in this activity, simply gaze in the mirror for 2 minutes or more and note all the things you’d like to say to whatever power it is that designed to send you through a full life instead of inspiring your parents to go at the top of your head with a blowtorch and tong the day they discovered that sexual relations between humans and Kangaroos could produce offspring.

That being said, if the idea of being arbitrarily mean to one another on a site which makes use of the word “battle” as a descriptor to state its intended purpose continues to make you feel all squishy inside like the variety of substances oozing around your world of Warcraft wonderoos, then I would counsel you to avail yourself of one of the four options listed below

A) Cover your ears and hum, fucktard

B) Frequent another area of the board which caters more to delicate pantyhose wearing grannies pretending to be "oldskool" power flamers.

D)  Fuck the hell off altogether to a site where your lukewarm twaddle will be met with some level of revere by the indigenous blather spreading failures who remain incapable of formulating complete sentences which carry words containing more than a single vowel.

D) Pour large quantities of gasoline on every piece of furniture in your home. Then proceed  to impale your ballsack unto the nearest immovable object with a nail gun and after that light a book of matches and toss it into the middle of the room so that your house burns down around you while you moan in agony.


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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #15 on: November 24, 2018, 01:26:51 PM »

I believe it ideally contains humor.

I believe in nuance, subtlety, and layered meanings.


I have no qualms that this is a reasonably agreeable sentiment. One that is likely shared among the more entertaining posters far exceeding your level of ability. But let’s face facts here Bitchriol, your particular brand of subtlety & nuance are indistinguishable from an onset of rigamortis. The piss poor attempts at humor embedded within your obnoxious chunter is on par with an IRS audit engagement letter and barely contain enough flamage to light a cigarette. Hence, the reason you've been referred over the years as the bionic bore of blathertowne.

You are, and always have been, a complete non-entity within flaming communities. Every last one of them. Why someone as dull & uninteresting as yourself designs to attach himself to the ass end of communities such as these in the first place is beyond me. I would think a slow moving rigid sloth such as yourself would make far better use of your talents promoting activities such as turtle racing at the local assisted living facility rather than trying to be amusing online and failing so miserably at it.

Now should the day arise where a site seeking to render such unreasonably stodgy discourse to recently deceased persons i,e comedy4corpses.com require the consultation of an expert, I'm sure you'll be on a very short list of capable hands to lead that charge. But until then, if flaming such as you'll find here continues to be unpalatable to your overly delicate composition then by all means, grab your carpet cutout trench coat & lumber your way back to Freezertruth.com where you and the other 3 bodies that might as well be laying on slabs of ice, can marvel hysterically at which direction the tumbleweed happens to be floating by on any given day, at the rate of one post every other week.

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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #16 on: November 24, 2018, 09:43:51 PM »
Oh get back in your cage and pummel your skull with your dog bowl until it cracks again with that schizophrenic voodoo vernacular you hyperactive wall bouncing hyena.

Who the hell wants to sit here and decipher your frenetic gibberish when in fact, the more pressing issue at hand is, why are your handlers allowing you to operate electronic devices such as a computer in the first place? Surly it is only a matter of time during one of your outbursts that you'll attempt to stick your keyboard into your mouth sideways and possibly hurt yourself or one of the fellow patients next to you.
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #17 on: November 25, 2018, 01:52:59 PM »
...and we always got standing ovations.

Pitching rotten tomatoes at an outfit of geriatric cock amputees wearing burger king crowns and condoms on all four of their stubby limbs as they ride into town on their battery operated scooters is usually more precise when one is standing.

lolwhut?
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #18 on: November 26, 2018, 02:31:51 PM »
Watching you post is like watching someone watching someone else watching you watch paint flake on a whitewashed wall. If ever an intervention, a quick rub down and a shiny new coat of glossing over the obvious was required, it's with you.

Stop pretending that you are offering anything new, blue or mildly deprecatingly askew. It's like watching Flea type with the dislocated fingers that last nights drunken beau gave her as a 12 hour anniversary present (when she discovers him stealing bus fare from her purse), Dovey realising that it wasn't God who came to her but Uncle Jesús who cum in her, or JooDog coming to terms with the fact that his own personal holocaust was sponsored by Hannity, the Church of the Latter Day Photoshop and low self-esteem.

You are no lady that's for sure, but you did post at TRF. Until you were pinked and took on the persona of what you never were. Castrated and cast out by the only mods you never always appreciated, you wandered the wastelands laying waste to metaphor and simile on the faq's sections of feminine hygiene product sites, while girding your testosterone laden balls with frilly white panties while illustrating sad faces on your testes with thirty shades and hues of ruby rouge lipstick.

Welcome back.

Please thank Flea on our registry of new births.

Ok, other than implying that your testicle tuck procedure was a stellar success what the fuck have you managed to articulate to the team? Obviously none of us have consumed as much LSD as you today so what's you're point again?

For crying out loud what mental hospital for toilet tonguing crazies did this low grade solvent sniffing nutjob escape from? One of the owners of this forum needs to get on the horn his handlers and tell them to bring the fluffy earmuffs & tranquilizer gun before this weirdo goes into full swing, strips butt naked in a ballerina pose and begins to urinate in a public place because the voices in his head have him convinced he's a water fountain this week.


Go massage the side of your face with a cheese grater in a small room with pillow top walls instead of boring us your disjointed babble why don't you? From the way you post I'm sure I'm not the only one convinced you are posting while being confined to a restraining chair wearing a straight jacket  and a face muzzle chained to the ceiling pecking out your unreadable bullshit with a Q-tip trapped between your teeth.

Fuck my skin crawls anytime I see your name in the who's online list. Cause all your name associates with as far as I'm concerned are refrigerators & missing person's whose faces now have a permanent place on the back of milk cartons. Lord only knows when you were a child how many creepy dead pet museums you enjoyed co-existing with in an area of the home were several floor boards had to be removed to gain entry due to a no human contact rule imposed by the local authorities you degenerate outcast.

Go lodge an ice pick deep through one of your eyelids. It'll help you post better, I promise.

 
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Offline Emily Friday

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Re: Are there any real men on this board?
« Reply #19 on: November 26, 2018, 04:55:07 PM »
Why be so hard on yourself, after all I have you running in splitting infinitives and machine manufacturing your cock-eyed hair lipped idea of brilliance while convincing yourself that you said something, anything worth listening too. I live for those that refuse to suicide via a Facebook post and who think that everything they say carries the weight of anything but a bloated Scout Leader imparting his wisdom around the campfire to a yet another undiscovered generation of pre-pubescent homosexuality.

10 bucks says if this guy reads this post aloud his tongue gets caught on a ceiling fan blade and he ends up looking like a bee hive hanging off the ceiling before the sperm cells have manged to make their way from his stomach to his small intestine.

I think it's rather amusing, in a wait a minute there, your helmet is on too tight kind of way,  the reference to "brilliance", coming from a bellowing ape strung on serotonin inhibitors who can trace his entire family lineage back to the powder used to create sea Monkeys. Tell the truth; you feel an insatiable urge to jump inside a fish tank every time you see one. Even when you're not bending off of race horse tranquilizers.

Now you know why.

Yeah, you keep posting like a group of scientists just went at your pumpkin head with a can opener and maybe someone that doesn't walk around in slow motion in an enclosed garden will believe that you've made me do anything other than unload the contents of my stomach into your bottom lip pouch

If ever a fucker needed help, a Royal Marine sponge bath with Brillo pads and a street sweepers bristled brush, advice in navigating from point A to point A, or cognisant re-assignment with a 10lb rubber mallet, it is you.

Save your vivid homoerotic screen play of long cock lust for bathroom break down at the asylum, you deformed face lunatic. No one wants to read of your scuba scat fantasies where a group of rot tooth Scottish sailors with hairy shoulders disrobe you and make you feel all baby soft and vulnerable with a rose clinched in your teeth. Again.

Christ. When you're not on powerful sedatives feeding pigeons in a public park in your pajamas you're out drinking their piss out of a beer bottle while you prance around in a catholic school girl's uniform and you want to be taken seriously when discussing matters of direction? The only direction you manage to go in with this blithering blather is shaped like an eight and usually ends in you passing out in a pool of your lip cream.

piss off and die, wanker.


No-one with any sense of self girth or worth cares what you think. And if they do, they are probably already in your circle of trust, the circle of none preparing banners and bunting for the day you claim your Kingdom of Flaccid Despair - or simply preparing for your second cumming while biting down on soft satin feathered pillows, the head's off venomous snakes as they powder-puff their chests and scream in their death throws, "he that never was, has already arisen".

Raiders of the lost Ark showing again down at the lunatic asylum?
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